To Each Their Own
by DarkBeerAngel
Summary: Something for everyone... First up Reno, just in, Yuffie
1. Reno's Poem

I don't own them, Squaresoft does. 

"To each their own"

Rufus's 21's birthday, everyone was there. Everyone had something to give him, or at least to say. Rufus was caught by surprise when Reno jumped up from his chair, spilling rum all over himself and the expensive carpet, and took the stage. "I... uh... I wrote something just now, and it's for you," he said, pointing to the young president. Rufus groaned. Reno cleared his voice and stood up straight, and looking at the folded cocktail napkin, he began.

"Rufus lay back in the grass and watched Cloud go by. He was much more entertaining than the clouds in the sky. Rufus hoped and then he prayed, Cloud could send Aeris running his way.  
Never did this happen, nor ever shall it ever be,  
Sephiroth killed her on disk one, while Rufus stayed until disk three.  
Weapon blew up his office, oh yes it did,  
But under his desk he jumped and hid.  
Like the likeliness of Cloud's hair,  
A Chocobo with a silvery stare came upon him and look,  
It just ate his nudie book.  
Rufus stood and Rufus yelped,  
Screamed at Cloud for a little help,  
Put the Chocobo in a headlock then.  
Blew it to bits with his rifle. The end."

The audience was silent and Rufus looked extremely embarrassed. Reno took a bow and left the stage, left the auditorium, and joined Cloud in a waiting limo. Cloud asked, "How did it go?" and Reno replied, "I don't know." Cloud pulled a bottle of beer out of the cooler and handed it to Reno, then one for himself. "How do you hope it went," Cloud asked, and Reno chugged his whole beer. "If I still have a job on Monday, it's okay by me." Reno looked at Cloud, and he looked straight back. Cloud leaned very near Reno, close enough to touch lips, and gazed into his eyes. Reno was suddenly very uncomfortable, but then relieved, as Cloud whispered "I have to pee," Reno then proceeded to pass out. And there's nothing more I can say about that.


	2. Yuffie's Materia Mistake

Disclaimer- I still do not own them, Squaresoft does. 

It was a boring day, in a boring place, and Yuffie wanted nothing more than to play. She didn't want bubble gum or candy or cards, she wanted to collect something of more price... Materia, a trifold, trice. Master Summons, Magic and more, Support would be fine, but she wanted more. Command makes her jump and squeal with delight... Her favorite was Steal, it made her feel just right. Transform was fun and Throw was all right, but only one golden orb fit in her shuriken, you know the one. The one that enthralls her, into having so much fun.

Cid was sitting on a bench eating Junon Fried Chocobo, and never saw the she-ninja coming, an HP plus, level four she did take, and quietly slipped away. She hid it in her shoe, that's what she did. Over there to the left is Cloud, working on a tan. What is that in Buster Blade? Counter Materia, level two, not the best, but for Yuffie it will do. The sneaky little ninja struck again, and just like before, she hid it in her shoe. She skipped and giggled with glee, then she spotted a fire red orb, Bahamut Zero, level three. It was attatched to Tifa's hairband, for reasons unknown, and the brunette never noticed it gone. Yuffie swiped it and stuck it into her shoe, and was thinking about all the things she could do, when she noticed Cait Sith, laying motionless on the ground. And what was that in the robotic cat's crown? Full Heal, level two. It wasn't the best, but it would do. She swiped it from it's slot, and slid it into her shoe. Yuffie was feeling quite pleased, about stealing all this Materia with ease, when she saw her next open target, just within reach. Barret was sleeping up against a tree, and on his gun-arm was Tetra-Elemental, level three, and with that was Fire. If he said a word against it missing, she would call him a liar, easy as that. Taking it was easier than that of the cat. Yuffie was beginning to come up with a plan, as she noticed Vincent, offwardly staring whilst he stand. The Odin and lightning from him she took, easier than reading a bike or riding a book. Yuffie ran amuk, stealing every orb in site, she did this until day turned into night, then she ran off into the woods, to count up her treasures.

Shoes dumped out and orbs aglow, Yuffie laughed and squealed at her pile, with a smile that went on for miles. It wasn't until she heard voices in the near distance that she figured out her worth. The Turks were coming, and she had a plan. She knew they were loaded, courtesey of that bad-ass Shinra man. Rude's Restore's were for shit, and Elena only had Ice, Tseng had Leavianth, but that wouldn't do. Reno had what the little ninja wanted, and she would get it indeed. Level five Phoenix, and Revive, level three, complimented very well, by Final Attack, level two. These would be hers soon, yes, she knew what she had to do. She snuck up behind the redhead, quiet as could be, but was caught by surprise at the gun barrel in her back. "Don' mess with tha Turks, bitch," he said, and gave her a hard smack, as she felt whoever behind her fire, and her spine gave a sickening crack. That is the way I must end this story, well before it gets gross and gory, but let Yuffie's mistake be an example to you all, don't steal, or it will be your downfall.


End file.
